What To Do With the Dead Kaiju

Bureaucracy once again stumbles against a world-ending threat, but is the satire as dead as its subject?

“It’s good that it’s dead. But what are we going to do with it?”

Disaster films, especially those dealing with kaiju and other giant monsters, have always been the ideal place for political commentary and satire. So much is the genre entrenched in this association that when a film doesn’t get political, something about it feels off. So when it was announced that director Satoshi Miki, known for his slice-of-life comedy dramas, was making his own twist on the genre, my interest was piqued.

What To Do With the Dead Kaiju is, as expected, a comedy-drama, but one set in a world where a giant T-Rex-esque monster has been terrorising the world and, out of nowhere, was killed by a mysterious white light. Amidst the celebrations are rumblings that things might not all be well, and the body could be just as dangerous as the living being. The Prime Minister (Toshiyuki Nishida) struggles to keep his head above water, as many others, including Minister of the Environment (Eri Fuse) and her assistant (Tao Tsuchiya) do what they can to safely dispose of the giant beast.

Filled to the brim with quirky characters and skilled actors, What To Do With the Dead Kaiju is Satoshi Miki taking his usual formulae and slapping a giant monster over the top – and it almost works. You can tell exactly what he’s trying to do, here: he wants this Armando Iannucci style patter, showcasing the government as inept but funny, while the monster threatens to explode or whatever. It’s almost there, and I feel like a couple more drafts of the script could have tightened it up considerably. Right now, it’s so packed with small two-minute scenes and cuts from one group of people to another, from one failed plan to another, that it’s impossible to keep track of what’s happening.

Miki isn’t a very good satirist. In a world where Shin Godzilla exists, a film that so perfectly highlights the faults of the government and, before that, Korea’s The Host – What To Do with the Dead Kaiju feels oddly tame, and not as interesting as what came before. It never promises to be biting satire, I’ll admit to that, but it does put on its costume and an audience will be expecting something clever and not just ministers blurting out random non-sequiturs and doing unfunny schtick. The jokes are there: various ministries forcing other ministries to do the dirty work, while taking the credit – but, like its deceased titular monster, it lacks any real bite.

The movie has some actors I adore, and they’re all a charm. Nishida is one of those guys who isn’t given the credit he’s due. He was a delight for 18 years on Knight Scoop, and he even managed to save that movie where Brittany Murphy learned to make noodles. Tsuchiya does well alongside Yamada Ryosuke, her ex-fiance who vanished some years ago and mysteriously reappears, and they bring a much-needed ground-floor point of view to the proceedings. If only it were funnier, or sweeter, or quirkier, or anything. As it is, it’s pulled too far in too many directions, and like its many politician characters is left bickering amongst itself, going kinda nowhere.

Verdict: The most frustrating thing about Dead Kaiju is how potentially good it could have been, if Miki had gone all out and not tried too many things at once.

Overall entertainment: 6/10
Violence: 1/10
Sex: 0/10
Satire: 3/10
Quirkiness: 7/10
Soap: Lathering it with what makes it what now?
Favourite visual: I do love the monster’s little leg sticking up

What To Do With a Dead Kaiju? (2022)
Also known as: 大怪獣のあとしまつ (Aftermath of the Giant Monster)
Japanese

Director: Satoshi Miki
Writer: Satoshi Miki

CAST

Ryosuke Yamada – Arata Obinata
Tao Tsuchiya – Yukino Amane
Gaku Hamada – Masahiko Ame
Joe Odagiri – Ryo ‘Blues’ Aoshima
Toshiyuki Nishida – Kan Nishiotachime
Hidekazu Mashima – Seiichiro Shikishima
Eri Fuse – Sayuri Renbutsu
Seiji Rokkaku – Hiroto Sugihara
Toshihiro Yashiba – Manabu Takenaka
Yoshiki Arizono – Murasaki Kawanishi
SUMIRE – Yamaneko Kunugi
Kenzo Ryu – Tsukuru Michio
Megumi – Yuko Amaguri
Ryo Iwamatsu – Bokudo Ioroi
Yoji Tanaka – Hayato Nakajima
Gin Pun Chou – Yukino’s mother
Kyusaku Shimada – Wataru Nakagaichi
Takashi Sasano – Jiro Zaizen
Rinko Kikuchi – Sen Masago
Fumi Nikaido – Sayoko
Shota Sometani – Denki Mukogawa
Yutaka Matsushige – Noboru Yamikumo
Taisei Kido – Suda