The Blind Detective

Love and justice are both blind in Johnnie To’s tonally off mystery.

“But you can’t see.”
“I’ll manage.”

I’ve never really grasped what to think of Johnnie To’s movies, at least before I see them. I feel it is an impossible task to put an expectation on them. They vary so wildly from genre to genre and fluctuate heavily in quality.

Johnston (Andy Lau) is a detective, forced to leave his position after being blinded on the job. He now solves cold cases, living off the reward money, if his friend in the force Szeto Fatbo (Guo Tao) can be bothered to get it for him. After witnessing Johnston solve a crime involving a man dropping sulphuric acid from high buildings, rookie cop Ho (Sammi Cheng) hires him to investigate the years-old case of the disappearance of her friend Minnie. Together they team up, as Johnston

Blind Detective is categorised as a romantic comedy mystery crime movie, and if all those genre keywords seem a bit much, it’s because they are. It’s like To (and the film’s four writers!) really wanted to make a classic buddy cop film, with a pretty interesting twist (being that one of them is blind), but can’t get away from everything else he wanted to do. He wanted to do a collection of Sherlock Holmes-style mini mysteries (with his own incredibly unpleasant protagonist), and also a romantic comedy and it’s too much for one rather flimsy story to hold.

It’s not very funny, the mystery isn’t very good and the romance … well, the less said about that the better. It’s just so odd that the lead in this romance is such a massive dick. And it’s hard to say if it’s the writing, direction or acting. Honestly, Lau’s performance is utterly inscrutable. It’s so had to guess as to what he’s doing, and the direction he’s been given. He’s either way too serious about crime, yelling at the top of his lungs, or sort of giggling madly. And that’s when he’s not just taking what he wants from Ho, or physically abusing her. It’s a completely unhinged performance that doesn’t make his character all that appealing. For a man who’s spent so much of career as cops, and detectives, you’d think he’d be better at it by now.

The film’s big saving grace is Sammi Cheng, who also brings a manic energy to the role. The difference between her and Lau is that everything she does is self-deprecating, and she lets herself look and perform in ways many leading actors wouldn’t just to get a laugh, or make the story work better. There isn’t a moment in the film where she isn’t maimed, hobbled or brutally hurt, and while it sometimes gets a bit much Cheng puts her all into the bits, and they work more often than not.

Because otherwise, there’s not really a lot in this film that hasn’t been done better elsewhere. The story is so-so, the characters forgettable, the romance mediocre at best, and it’s all packed into a film that’s way too long because it’s trying to do too many things. A focus on the missing women would have made for a far more compelling and streamlined film, which could have done wonders for the pacing of the thing. It’s a film where they show where the missing person is by way of a guilty expression on waitress’ face, but plays it off as a twist later on. In fact, I realised during the segment at the casino that at its worst, The Blind Detective plays like one of Wong Jing’s lesser works. It’s a movie where no one should go in blind, or really at all.

Verdict: Crammed with jokes that are mostly just people shouting, mysteries that aren’t cleverly solved, and a main character who’s beyond unpleasant, The Blind Detective is a hug misstep from Johnnie To (and everyone else involved).

Overall entertainment: 3.5/10
Violence: 2/10
Sex: 1/10
Mysteries: 4/10
Best comedic scene: The cab driver chasing Johnston, both blinded.
Climactic going into labour scene: Of course there’s one.
Cab drivers: All murderers, I guess

The Blind Detective (2013)
Also known as: 盲探
Cantonese

Director: Johnnie To
Writers: Wai Ka-fai, Yau Nai-hoi, Ryker Chan, Yu Xi

CAST

Andy Lau – Johnston Chong
Sammi Cheng – Goldie Ho
Guo Tao – Szeto Fat-bo
Gao Yuanyuan – Tingting
Zi Yi – Joe
Lang Yueting – Minnie
Cheng Ho-lam – Teenage Minnie
Lam Suet – Lee Tak-shing